Life sucks 1
by TENEBRAE99
Summary: My life sucks. It friggin sucks balls. Here we were, enjoying our day off. Then life decides to spiral out of control, starting with a wish. "I wish the Akatsuki were rea-" Surprise, surprise! The Akatsuki falls from our ceiling. Literally. People complain about it raining cats and dogs. We're different. We complain about it raining freaking psychopaths. HEAVY LANGUAGE!
1. Prologue: OMFG AKATSUKI!

**Helloooo my friends! My comprendes! My pals! My buddy bud buds!**

**I am backkk~~ that's right. On top of rewriting Halfdemon, I'm going to try my best to update both regularly. How about biweekly? Is that ok? Anyways I wrote this at 1:42 am in the morning where I am. So I'll have shit tons of mistakes and stuff like that… And I think the chapter is a little short but it's just a sort of kind of prologue.. So sue me.**

**Well, then, ENJOY THE STORY!**

**P.S On a side note, please plleeasee pleeeaaasseee with freaking Akatsuki smexiness dripping from the snow cone of pleases. Please review! I promise that no matter what happens, I'll continue writing if you guys review.**

**P.P.S On a side side note, the story's gonna be kinda vulgar as in all the F-bombs, S-bombs and the gang being thrown at your face. Sooo… don't like, then get the hell outta hear brother/sister/animal thing.**

**Disclaimer: Pft… Of course I don't own Naruto. If I did I would make Hashirama and Madara make gay babies and I'll **_*spoiler alert*_** make Obito not Tobi or like use the powers of Mary-sueness and make some kind of potion and revive Rin so Obito wouldn't go crazy and like, destroy the Fucking world as we know it. So… yeah…**

**Enjoy! For real, this time!**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoO**

. .

I mean seriously, it sucks. Here we were enjoying the night off. Then tragedy strikes. In the form of a frikkin wish gone fucking wrong.

"I wish the Akatsuki were rea-"

BOOM CRASH BANG BOOOOM

All three of our heads turned toward the sound(s). Only to be greeted by, horror of all horrors, a gaping hole that opened to a deep and black abyss of darkness that led to whatever hell the Akatsuki came from. That's right. The Akatsuki. They're in our house. The Akatsuki. The freaking organization of psychopathic killers responsible for the death of nearly all the goddamn Jinchuuriki.

And of course, being the crude ass mouth I was, as you can tell, my first reaction was to cuss.

"Fuck us, Fuck our lives, and Fuck everything that Fucking moves. Uhhh… Crap" My flushed red as I realised what I had just said. Or rather, who I had just heard my cursing. The silver haired Jashin worshipper smirked playfully and said, "I like the girl. She's got spunk. Heh." Before he completed his sentence properly, He had his Tri-bladed (Not sure if real word) scythe pressed against my friends' throats. He continued his little speech saying, "Which means these two are of no use to us."

For a moment I wanted to scream but instead I blurted out "N-no! Uhh.. She cooks." I pointed to the squirming Bec. "And she cleans." I pointed to Felix. " And I uhh… I provide um.. Spunk?"

Pain calmly stepped forward and muttered to Hidan. The scythe wielding maniacal killer contorted his face into a frown and raised the scythe away from Bec and Felix with a pout. Bec and Felix coughed, rubbing their throats painfully.

"What… What are they saying." Felix wheezed in a hoarse voice. Right. They couldn't understand Japanese. Because they were too lazy to take up Japanese. I think we all agreed that their not learning was a bloody pain in the ass. Too bad we only knew now that our favourite FICTIONAL characters would drop in for a visit NOW.

"Pain er… Asked Hidan to er… Stop?" I muttered quietly.

"What are you saying to them in that foreign language. Where are we? Why are we here? And… Why do you know our names?" Pain asked calmly although there was an obvious harsh undertone to his otherwise mellow voice. That man was definitely dangerous. I had no idea how to answer so Bec, with her quick wits and all, whispered to me what I should tell the increasingly fidgety band of ninjas.

"Er… It doesn't matter." I tried to sound nonchalant as I glanced at Bec unsure of what I was saying. "It doesn't matter because you guys are here and you need us because you are obviously in an entirely different universe. So let us keep our secrets and we will run by your rules."

Pain narrowed his eyes at Bec, recognising her as a dangerous opponent. He sighed and rubbed his temples before answering.

"Very well. We accept your offer." Pain looked straight at us. I looked at Felix and Bec. They shrugged unhelpfully. I pondered the arrangement for a moment before saying, "Uhh.. We only have four bedrooms and we." I gestured to Felix, Bec and myself. "Are taking one room. So you guys will have to deal with what you have." The fake show of superiority from moments ago had completely dissipated. I was, no doubt about it, shaking to the bones. Had I been less of a woman, I would have run from the household screaming profanity throughout the neighbourhood. Not that these really really nice visitors would have allowed me to. I immediately left the crazy killers and dragged Bec and Felix into my room. It was decided that that would be our home base for now since it contained the most Naruto comics. Thank god I was the only one in the 'family' that was willing to spend hard earned cash on the almost monthly issues of Naruto.

**BEC**

So we were safe in Alex's room, nowhere near certain of our safety. The plan that I had thought up in that heat of the moment might fall through immediately had they decided not to care. But thank the gods they believed us and kept our blood pumping through our bodies instead of on the floor. The good thing was, I was having the best time of my life. That wish of mine might have thrown us deep into the bowels of the fickle being known as trouble, but I could smell the overwhelming scent of adventure. We were definitely going to have the time of our lives. Maybe those Akatsuki might not be entirely bad people.

There was one problem though. The language barrier. Having only Alex as a communicator wasn't a good idea. Despite having such a foul mouth, she was the one who had the least charisma. And when you're talking to someone who would be willing to kill you if he saw fit. I think charisma is of quite a fair importance. Felix and I have been having the most troublesome time of our lives. We definitely didn't have the time to leisurely take up Japanese. However, I think, with the situation as is now. We were probably in for a crash course into the complex world of Japanese language.

**FELIX**

Haa… Haaa… I was panting so heavily when Hidan's scythe touched my throat, let alone press on it, I immediately felt claustrophobic. I felt my childhood fear get the best of me as I squirmed, unable to breathe yet unwilling to move a muscle, lest I ended up killing myself. I could feel myself stop breathing. Air stopped reaching my lungs and I felt like the current was pulling me down under the ice again. I could feel the cold, cold blade rest where my jugular was, ready to slice through skin to reach bone. How could Bec or Alex be so calm about it. Especially Bec! She had on her trademark lazy grin on her face even when minutes ago, she too had felt icy, hard steel nearly sliced through her neck.

" Are you guys… Hack... Cough… ok?"

I looked at their nodding faces. They were full of concern. I was the oldest. I was supposed to be the one looking out for them but in the end, I was the one who caused them unnecessary worry. On the outside I put on a mask of bravery and motherliness. But inside I was jealous and envious of their ability to stay calm. We muttered our good nights in our own fashion, trying hard to pretend that we were merely having a sort of slumber party. All of us, except for Bec of course, wished that tomorrow, when we awoke, those fictional characters would be gone. That all this drama was merely a figment of our wild and free imagination. Inside though, we shared the same thoughts. Those cloaked shinobi were definitely real.

FIN

**Sooooo…. I hope you really enjoyed this! Give me some suggestions and some pairings if you want! I personally have three already in mind but if you guys really want something, then I'll definietely change it for you. This fic is supposed to be light hearted, hence the free name calling and the cussing. If you don't like it or if you feel Halfdemon should also be more light like this, go ahead and PM me. I promise I'll respond to every single one like I used to! **

**A really rrrreaaallly big thanks to all of you who are reading it, have favourited me, followed me, reviewed my story or something of the like. Like really. I mean it. You guys are the reason why I even tried to come back with this. **

**On a side note (sorry bout all the side notes), I will be posting a story hopefully every Monday. Timing defers timezone to timezone but, hey, you should still be getting it on Monday!**

**YOU GUYS ROCK!**

**TENEBRAE99**


	2. Trip to the mall part one!

**Ok… I stayed up again to do this… this time; it's actually 2:27. I have got to start writing my chapters earlier… On another note, I want to let you guys know that I personally think the demon part is stupid. Read on to find out. The thing is if I don't do that, there isn't going to be a way for the story to progress. And I'm trying to finish this before my holiday ends… so… sorry for the sucky story… part two comes next week because I can't write anymore without spacing out for an hour.**

**On a side note, I've been trying to survive the 1 hour loop of FUKKIRETA by Teto-chan… I did that while writing and surprisingly, I'm not that irritated…**

**Anyways, ENJOY PEOPLE! Thank you to evil-mastermind-no-1 and kitsunefang. You guys are awesome! Review!**

"Ok. Their real. What do we do?" Felix said in exasperation after peeking out the door. Majority of the Akatsuki were awake, staring the magic box known as TV. She stared at me cluelessly before looking back at the door. I shrugged unhelpfully. And hungrily too, I might add. My stomach was growling terribly. I cradled my hungry tummy before desperately clawing at Felix.

"Pretty please? They can't kill us. They have orders not to. I'm hungryyyy…" Felix stared at me, sighing. She nodded, unable to resist my puppy eyes. I decided that I would never, _ever, _do something like that again. The pleading, I mean. Felix approached the door hesitantly so I elbowed her. She looked back at me crossly before popping her head out the door then stepping lightly out still clothed in her pink pyjamas. I rolled my eyes at her comical acting.

When we went downstairs, every conscious member of the Akatsuki stared at us. Deidara, who was closes to us as he sat on the staircase playing with some blutack, said something foreign to us. He patted his tummy and I heard a faint growling. Felix understood immediately and nodded, her hospitable spirit firing up. She immediately left for the kitchen to cook up some breakfast. I sighed before plopping myself onto the weirdly empty couch. And then, I found out why it was empty.

"BECCC-CHAANNN!" I didn't have to know Japanese to know that that lollipop face was IRRITATING. I tried to endure the masked man's irritating voice. I preferred talking to the murderous and psychotic half of this guy than the crazy and hyper side of him. Just then, I heard a loud noise come from the kitchen. I had the chance to glance at the kitchen before I felt myself lose consciousness.

**Felix**

"_Welcome to my realm, the Realm of Nightmares and most of all, the Realm of Death."_

I rubbed my head as I regained control of myself. I looked up blankly and got a scare. There was a… thing sitting on an ebony throne. That thing was entirely black, like a creature of the night. The ethereal being seemed to be dressed in a shadow-like cloak which seemed to be made of the souls of the dead. There were clearly faces in his cloak, making his costume seem to scream in pain.

"Well, that name definitely suits you, oh great king of thou nightmares." Bec said sarcastically, placing a hand on her forehead dramatically, the smirk on her face showed no signs of fear. I stared at her, startled by her sudden presence. On my left, Alex had begun to slowly materialise, rubber ducky pyjamas and all. The oblivious girl rubbed her eyes tiredly and managed to somehow fall asleep standing. Even before such a malevolent feeling presence.

"How gutsy." Those two words seemed to bounce off the walls of the flaming palace, thundering throughout the beings home. Bec's head was cocked to the side in curiosity. She asked the man, "Why are you doing this? Don't you have papers to sign or something?" The god-like being laughed, booming throughout the palace.

"I see that your quick wit helped you to connect the pieces. As of late, I have been rather, bored. As you humans say. Furthermore, you puny little creatures die so quickly." There was a distinct look of disgust on his face like you would when you were talking about frogs. "Do you know how much paperwork is involved in a single person's death? So I decided to give granting wishes a try. Of course with a certain something in exchange. Imagine my surprise when the three of you actually wish for your fictional characters to be real. Most of you selfish beings have wished for eternal wealth, eternal beauty, to live forever, etc etc etc. They never end well of course."

The entity paused to look down at his feet where the three of us "puny humans" were standing.

"Now then, it seems like the three of you have run into a problem. A language barrier, am I right? Hm… When you awaken, it should be solved." The being's face seemed to become serious. "Beware of the pearly gates and their guards. They _will_ find out about your presence soon enough. They _will_ try to kill you for accepting a wish from Satan himself. When that happens, make sure you survive. _Do not_ disturb my fun. Understood?"

We (Bec and I) could only nod helplessly.

* * *

"BEC-CHAN, BEC-CHAN, BEEECC-CHHANN! AREE YOOUU OOKKK?" I freakin awoke with a migraine the size of the freaking empire state building. I don't usually curse but with a migraine this big? Tobi was definitely getting on my nerves. I stared at him with enough killer intent to kill a cow.

"Shut up." I said, my teeth gritted together. Then I realised something.

"You. You understand what I'm saying, am I right?"

"OF COURSE, BEC-CHANNN!"

So that demon looking thing was real. But I realised something. Felix had lost consciousness _while _she was cooking. I sprinted to the kitchen.

* * *

**Itachi**

I entered the kitchen feeling a little bored and hungry for that matter. The girl, Felix, I believe, seemed to be cooking something that smelt like eggs. Omelettes I think. I sat myself quietly at the table. When she turned around with a pan of eggs, she started a little. She didn't seem to have heard me come in.

She smiled at me, a little hesitant. Her guards were still up. A smart choice. All of a sudden, her body turned limp. Alarmed, I rushed off my chair just in time to catch her body and the pan that fell with her. Throughout her unconsciousness, her body was sweating heavily. I lifted her easily and placed her on the table, moving the plate of food to the counter.

After nearly fifteen minutes of being unconscious, she awoke just as Bec ran into the kitchen. For some inexplicable reason, I seemed to actually understand the exchange between Bec and Felix. When Felix sat up, her face was red all over.

"Thank… Thank you, Itachi-san." She said, her voice wavering a little.

I nodded slightly before taking a seat again.

* * *

**No one**

"AHHHHHHHH! GET THIS FUCKING BITCH OFF ME! GET HER OFFFF!" The psychotic silver haired killer screamed, nearly inaudibly. The girls in the kitchen peeked outside the kitchen door only to be greeted by… horror of all horrors… Hidan was waving his arm around mindlessly, screeching. Attached to his arm was a still asleep Alex who did not seem the least bit fazed. Her slobber coated Hidan's arm.

"YOU GUYS. GET THIS BITCH THE FUCKING SHIT OFF MY ARM!"

At this, Bec and Felix responded by rushing to him, trying to pry Alex off his arm. After a good twenty minutes spent on trying to get Alex's vice-like grip off Hidan, the girl herself awoke.

"What the fucks happening?" She opened her eyes and immediately let go of Hidan's hand, shrieking like a banshee. She ran up to the toilet and a cry of "FUCK ME, WHY THE FUCK, BODY?" resounded to the living room.

An entire two hours into the hectic morning and an awkward silence had wormed itself into the group of more than ten people that were eating from a table that only fit four comfortably. Hidan and Alex were just glaring holes into each other, Tobi was bothering Deidara ,who had threatened to blow up the house, Felix was desperately trying to start a conversation. The only people that weren't affected seemed to be Pain and Konan. Even Bec seemed to be irritated.

"OK! YOU GUYS STINK!" Bec couldn't take it anymore. She got up and pulled the person nearest to her who happened to be Kisame. With some difficulty, she heaved the blue man to the toilet.

"Bath. You smell like rotting fish. I'll get you a towel and clothes. " Bec turned back to the kitchen as Kisame reluctantly entered the pink bathroom.

"Each of you. Take turns bathing. I will not take no for an answer. Pain-sama, I'm sure you are willing to help me in this. Because if your children don't bathe, _I'm going to kick them out_." Pain sighed before nodding.

* * *

**Alex**

Moments later, another problem had surfaced.

"Ok. We don't fucking have any fucking clothes big enough for Kisame." I glanced at Kisame, then back at the box of guy clothes.

"_And_, there isn't enough clothes for everyone to wear."

Bec, evidently still severely pissed, sighed and rubbed her temples. She was staring to resemble freaking Pain. She nodded at me before screaming at the top of her voice, above Deidara and Tobi's squabbling and Hidan's stupid cursing," HALF OF THE PEOPLE THAT AREN'T NAKED WILL FOLLOW ME AND TAKE THE HUMMER. ALEX AND FELIX, GRAB THE OTHER HALF AND WE'LL MEET AT THE MALL."

On the way to the mall, the ones who were with us included Itachi and Sasori. In other words, the quieter of the bunch. Pain and Konan didn't want to come so we left them at home with the still naked Kisame… I did a quick calculation and realised to my horror that we were probably going to end up blowing all our money. If each of them bought jeans and about 7 pairs of shirts, not even including the rest of our living expenses, we would probably end up spending at least two hundred dollars.

"Felix, after this, we're going to have to be fucking homeless." I muttered worriedly. Felix put on a brave front and courageously said," We'll cross the bridge when it comes." I could see the underlying fear in her voice, however. I stared at her a little longer before nodding my head defeatedly

* * *

**Bec**

"ARE WE THERE YET? BECCC-CHAANN! LOOKK ATT THHEEE DOGGGY OUTTTSIDDEE!" The masked man (boy)continued his rambling and it was _grating on my nerves_. Deidara had found some ear buds back home and managed to ignore the annoying muffled babbling. If not for the fact that I was driving I would have put my hands around Tobi's neck and squeezed hard. Hidan and Kakuzu were arguing over some religious thing and it was pissing me off. It looked like I would just have to endure this drive until I reached the freaking mall.

"FINALLY, you guys get the hell out of my hummer. Follow me closely, don't kill anyone while you're here! I'm having enough of a migraine!" I screamed, as coolly as I could but with the morning proceeding like that, it was going to be difficult to keep my cool.

When I finally managed to round the idiots up, Alex and the others were already waiting outside the department store. An awkward silence hung in the air. I grabbed a cart, ordered Hidan to push it, grabbed another cart and ordered Deidara to cart Tobi around. He death-glared at me before obediently following my advice. They probably got some orders from Pain. Alex, Felix and I then began our adventure into the department store.

* * *

**Alex**

So the first thing we set to buying was jeans. No special designs. Just normal fucking jeans that would fit them. I grabbed two pairs of the largest jeans I could find and inspected it. It appeared to be just nice for Kisame. Thank you to all obese people who shop here. You guys are fucking awesome. I pulled the closest Akatsuki, Sasori and demanded that he find pants for everyone and immediately left the increasingly pissed puppeteer to his own devices. I grabbed Hidan and pulled him toward the t-shirt rack. Seeing as Hidan was the most regularly sized man in the Akatsuki so I figured I'd use him as model.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH ME BITCH!" He screamed at me. At this point of time, I could see the amount of people gathering to share words about the show they were getting. I gritted my teeth and seethed, "_Shut up!_" Hidan, feeling the killer intent, merely sneered at me; sure I wouldn't do anything to him. I fumbled through my pockets and grabbed something small and circular. I pulled it out. Duct tape. It was then, that Hidan began to be a little nervous. I pulled the roll open and tore a piece out and stuck it squarely on Hidan's mouth.

"Mm mm-hmmm-MH." Hidan struggled against the duct tape that I had used on his hands but it was useless even for a ninja. I had used the entire 40 meter roll of tape to wind around his wrists. I grinned victoriously as I began to pick out shirts for each of the Akatsuki.

* * *

**Felix**

I was tasked with the most embarrassing duty out of the three of us; Underwear shopping. Itachi was following me like a lost kitten and I could hear Deidara and Tobi bickering like a couple. My face was totally flushed as I asked Itachi a very, _very_, embarrassing question.

"Itachi-san, what… what size should I buy for you guys?" I could feel myself heat up even more when my mind wandered to the situation in the morning. Itachi stared the two packages in my hands and pointed at the one I was holding with my right hand. I placed 9 boxes of it in my basket before I muttered a quick thank you to Itachi. He merely nodded and continued to shadow me. I went to pay for it and asked Itachi to lead Deidara and Tobi outside to return the cart. A ways away, I spotted Bec relaxing by the fountain as I left with my receipt.

I led the boys to the fountain where I greeted Bec. She looked at Tobi with disgust clearly written on her face. I could see her visually planting her hands firmly onto Tobi's neck and _squeezing _hard. I muttered a thank you when she understood my leaving the boys with her and barked a goodbye. Nerve-wrenchingly, Itachi still continued to shadow me. And I was getting even more flustered as he matched my stride perfectly.

The moment I entered 'Crossroads', however, my troubles were thrown away. Much cliché present there. I held the featured book like a baby and read its synopsis. Within minutes, I had lost myself completely in the world of make-believe.

"You like reading?" Itachi whispered. I almost didn't dare to believe that he was talking to me.

"Ah… Ah… yes I do like reading." I answered, beaming slightly. I walked between the shelves of the bookstore and held one out to Itachi.

"This is my favorite." Itachi read its title and synopsis and returned the book to me. He followed suit and pulled a dusty book from the shelf and passed it to me. The book seemed like a book about brotherly love and sacrifice. I looked up, smiling sadly.

"You know then?" Itachi breathed. I nodded, feeling like had violated his private life. "It's ok. Why don't you tell me about the other books?"

Like a child starved for attention, I went to find more of the books that I like to show to Itachi.

* * *

**Itachi**

As I saw her move to get a book from a higher shelf, I gracefully lifted the book off the shelf and placed it gently in the girl's hands. Within the short half a day we had spent together, I had somehow developed an attachm- No. I couldn't_. Pain's orders_. But she seemed so much like Sasuke. _She… She… didn't deserve the eventual separation when we went back home. She didn't deserve to feel the pain of losing something important._

But, somehow, I still felt myself holding onto her like she was my lifeline. As she went back to search for more books to devour, I prayed that I would have the courage to do what was right. When the time came. At the moment, I would just enjoy her companionship.

-**_FIN-_**

* * *

**Ok… I'm exhausted… BYE NOW! TOBI SENDS HIS THANKS BECAUSE TENEBRAE-CHAN JUST FELL ASLEEP! BUHBYE! **

**Next episode: Trip to the mall 2!**


	3. Trip to the mall part two!

**Hellloooo theeeerrreee! Hiiiiii!**

**REALLLYY REALLLY SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE…**

**You see, I've been busy. Last Sunday, I tried my best to stay awake but I was just too dog tired…**

**Then my friends and I had a SLLLEEEPPOVVVAAAA! Yep… Only got four or so hours of sleep… Ahhhhhhhhhh!**

**Ok, I'm sorry, these are all just excuses… I'MMM SOOO SOOORRRYYYY! *kowtows to you***

**If you don't know what kowtow means… well, google it.**

**Anyways, Enjoy!**

**P.S **

**I might not update nxt week… Going on a shor hoiday… yeahh.. I'll try my best to make the chapter longer!**

**Till next time!**

**Bec**

So. Here I am stuck with one and a half idiots to take care of. I could at least sympathize with Deidara. Tobi was definitely _getting on my nerves_. The boy in question was, at the moment, dancing around in the pool splashing water onto the statue in the fountain. The statue was of some weird looking cupid babies vomiting water into a pool filled with water, dead birds and rusted pennies. _Definitely_ my favourite fountain.

"BEC-CHAN! COME JOIN ME! PLLEEEAASSSEEEE? DEIDARA-CHAN TOO!"

Deidara banged his head into the wall that he had been leaning on. He left a very _very _visible crack on the hard cement wall. His face was scrunched up and I could tell that he was very obviously bleeding all over his shoulder. He straightened up and looked right at me, muttering, " I'm going to find something to blow up." What choice did I have but to let him leave. Had I disallowed him from leaving, I'm pretty sure, from the dark look on his face, I would've been the one to blow up into a million pieces.

And here I am. Sitting on this bench listening to a psychopath babble about random stuff, calling my name almost once every few seconds. There was only a few things I could do about my current predicament. I was bored. And pissed. And really feeling the urge to strangle the life out o the crazy boy-man-thing.

So. I chose the least safe and most probably going to lead to my death choice; I cracked my neck and stared at the masked boy. To be totally honest, we shouldn't have brought him. And it wasn't because he was annoying(well, not entirely), but rather, it was because that orange lollipop mask of his was attracting _way_ too much attention to ourselves. I frowned at Tobi and muttered, " I know that you know that I know that you're Obito." Immediately, I felt something that made a shiver travel down my spine.

"Oh, really? Bec-chan knows?" Tobi cocked his head to a side, as if trying to keep up appearences. But his normal, none helium-fuelled, voice leaked into his speech. He got up from the fountain and promptly sat beside me, seemingly staring at me. If I had to imagine, I could see a smirk on his knowing face.

"Oh, and how do you know that I know?" He whispered huskily.

"I.. I saw you sneak into the room last night." For the first time in my life of dangerous jobs that could've probably killed me, I felt the sting of fear overcome me. It wasn't to fun I have to say. But my mind immediately cleared of emotion. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I see. I _was_ actually hoping to keep that as a secret a little longer but oh well." He shrugged. "On the other hand, I quite enjoy your company." I opened one eye and stared at him curiously.

He continued his analysis of me. " You, seem quite interesting. No emotions. Seemingly no connections. I wonder what kind of story I can get from you." He gazed fixedly at me, as if trying to force me to answer.

"I have nothing to say to you." I murmured.

He nodded to himself before continueing, " You _are_ quite interesting. Out of the three of you girls, you are the most mysterious and the one who captures my attention. Felix is the physically weak but emotionally overflowing girl with incredibly naïve motherliness. Alex is the colourful, and highly useless girl. She doesn't provide anything worthwhile. But you, you I'm not sure of. Your heart is locked up into a cage of ice. Yet you seem to still rely on them. For what reasons, I don't know. You interest me so I'll keep you alive. _For now._"

"NO! Leave them out of this!" I growled, but he had planted a seed of doubt in the back of my mind. I _did _seem to be void of emotions. I didn't have any family. And in the friend department, I have but two friends. I never did want to have more than d=that. I never planned to have any in the first place. No doubt, this psychopath's analysis of me was definitely accurate. And it pissed me off.

**Alex**

I _finally _managed to pick out forty plus pairs of shirts that fit the Akatsuki. Normally, I was the type to be picky. But today, I, like Bec, was pissed out of my mind. I had to drag a struggling Hidan wherever I went and he was fucking getting on my nerves. I'd already expended the amount of duct tape that I had on with me but he was still putting up such a _fucking_ fight!

"MMMM-MMMHHHMMM!"

I'm sure he was probably cursing the hell out of me but man, he had so much damn stamina. _And, _he was heavy as hell, goddamnit! It was pissing me off. Another thing was the weird stares that Hidan was attracting for me. I guess people aroung here don't normally see a duct tape cocoon looking thing that had a silver haired head sticking out of it. I wasn't able to finish his head. It would have been great to stick wonderful duct tape onto this fucking _irritating_ guy's head and pull it out quick. Hehe… duct tape, world's most versatile object…

Anywho, I was done. Almost. I had to pay for the shirts and I must sat. Even though we bought it from the cheapest most _cheapest,_ shirts in America, it cost a good four hundred and fifty dollar. Man, these unexpected guests were taking quite a chunk out of our bank account. As is, that four hundred and fifty bucks was about half of our shared bank account. Damn. We'll have to rob a bank if we're going to continue host these idiots. Totally not worth it. At least the part with Hidan isn't. He was way cooler in the anime…

Felix had said that we were supposed to meet at the weird looking fon=untain thing with weird looking cherub things 'flying'. Man, what was with these peoples' sense of interior designing, goddamnit?

I was, however, having quite a big problem. Forty shirts weren't quite as easy to hold in one hand as I had thought. I glanced at the still wriggling Hidan and sighed. I bent down and meticulously pulled the duct tape from his body, earning myself some 'MM-HMMM's of pain. Hehe… those few minuted it took me to 'undo' what I had done to the baka was satisfying as shit. Too bad it didn't last too long. As soon as all the duct tape was off me, Hidan grabbed my collar and shook me violently, as though I was merely a rag doll. Damn, it frustrated me that he was so fucking strong. Oh well.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, BITCH?"

"IT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE SO _FUCKING_ IRRITATING THAT'S WHY!"

The whole scream fest thing was earning us quite a few stares of hatred and parents covering their children's ears. How naïve. They'd eventually learn those words anyway. But, apparently, our fighting had caught the attention of a mall cop. And that guy, he fit the exact stereotype of mall cops. Obese, holding an oversized donut that looked _extremely_ sinful, and he was even on one of those fancy pants Segway things. Damn.

"What in the world are the two of you doing? You're making a lot of people uncomfortable and I'm not sure I'm quite comfortable with it. If the two of you do not stop, I _will_ chase the two of you out of here."

Hidan let go of me abrubtly and made me almost fall. Almost being keyword. I glared at him fiercely. Any idiot could see that hidan was going to beat up this mall cop guy. I slipped between him and the cop and elbowed Hidan in the guts. Damn straight. Made him freaking scream like a little girl I did. Probably just surprised rather than in pain but, let me just have this victory. I could feel a chill go down my spine. Probably. No. definitely his glare. I calmed my self and gently said to the mall cop in as unassuming a voice as possible, "We're really sorry for causing _so_ much trouble for you. I promise we're never going to do this again. I promise!" I ended it with as sweet a smile as possible. The mall cop smiled at me, not sensing the sarcasm that I'd subtley laced into my words. He nodded at me and threw one last glance at the towering man standing behind me. Then, he promptly left.

Hidan looked at me, quite impressed by my situation handling.

I shrugged and said, "What? I used to get into a lot of trouble."

**Felix**

I took a glance at my watch. It was about time to go. I placed the book I had been reading onto the counter gently and paid for the book.

"Hello again, Luke." I beamed at him. He nodded, smiling back. He pushed his spectacles up and handed the book to me. He glanced behind me and narrowed his eyes.

"Is that guy stalking you or something? He has been staring at you very intently for the past hour that you'v been here. Is he bothering you? If he is, tell me, ok? I'll chase him away for you." He whispered under his breath. I waved my hand at him shaking my head vigorously. He nodded his head, but he was most definitely still suspicious. I shepherded Itachi out of the store, waving a hasty goodbye to Luke.

When we left I pulled Itachi away from the shop quickly. I stood at the fountain panting a little. Had I not have left the shop briskly, Luke might have recognised to a certain extent, that Itachi wasn't exactly _from here. _His more… Peculiar _attitude _definitely would attract some unwanted attention.

I pulled out my cellphone and swiftly typed out a message.

'_Meet you guys where our cars are'_

I felt a little bit on the uncomfortable side as Itachi peeked curiously over my shoulder at my cell, which probably seemed as foreign to him as his world to ours. I blushed as I felt h is breath on my ears. I instinctively pulled away and pulled him towards the general direction of where I had parked the car. As a whole, I could feel the confusion rolling off of Itachi. But as you can see, I'm not the kind that gets very used to the presence of… well, guys…

Anyhow, Itachi and I reached the car park at record speed. We were way earlier than everybody else so Itachi and I just spent the time awkwardly staring into blank space.

**Itachi**

As Felix led, or rather, pulled me towards the general direction of nowhere, I felt a pang of pain. Was I asking for too much? Dida murderer like me deserve something like this? Something so fragile? Would she break when I left?

I didn't want to think about it. But… but she reminded me of… of how Sasuke had been when he was young. Before I began carrying this guilt. Felix, I had an innate need to protect. To care for her.

_Was I being selfish?_


	4. Back home we go!

**I'M SOOOO SOORRRYYY! I have been impudent! The update is so **_**fucking**_** late and not to mention, it's also**_** fucking**_** short… I'm so sorry! My parents say I use the computer way too much so they wouldn't let me use it… gahhh! Anyways, thank you to everyone reading this now! You guys are awesome and I will try to get another chapter out soon! I hope…**

"Finally! I thought you guys died or something!" Alex exclaimed, flailing her arms in the air. Bec rolled her eyes at Alex before turning her gaze back toward the assembling 'crowd' of crazy killing machines. Felix was counting the number of Akatsuki members present as best as she could but with Hidan trying to pull Tobi off of him, Itachi wandering through the hedges in the car park and Sasori dashing to and fro various decorative stone statues whilst muttering various 'critiques to himself, she wasn't getting much progress.

All of a sudden, she realized that amidst all the hustle and bustle, a certain blonde bomber was missing.

"Where's Deidar-"

BOOOOOOMMMM

Just as she uttered those words, a cloud of smoke and dust and shrapnel just exploded out of a portion of the mall. The most surprising ingredient in that concoction was red and a sticky. Blood. Following the explosion, various screams rang out as that 'stuff' fell all over the sidewalk.

Alex and Felix clung to each other screaming loudly. Bec's face paled as she muttered a 'shit' to herself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, collecting herself. She dashed toward the source of the explosion.

**Deidara**

Hahaha! Now these people were among the luckiest people around, to be able to witness my art first hand. And to those who actually got hurt by my art? They must be going through pure bliss! I laughed a self-indulgent laugh as I stood on top of the clay bird I had made earlier on. After detonating this, I shall call it a day.

**Bec**

My mind immediately started analyzing the scene before me.

To my left the rubble had fallen on top of a middle aged and balding man. To my right, a young woman was trying her best to remove the rubble that sat itself on a little boy's waist. And in front of me, there were a few unrecognizable bodies that were seared quite thoroughly and had chunks missing. My brain started prioritizing what I to do.

I rushed toward the flames that was engulfing the top of the pile of rubble and grabbed Deidara's arm pulling him in the direction of the car park, which hopefully hadn't caught fire yet. I ignored the pleas of the people around me. They were unimportant.

I wrapped my other scarf around Deidara's head, making sure that his face couldn't be seen. I had my first scarf around my own face. We couldn't afford to get caught. These people caught in this explosion would just be collateral damage. They didn't matter.

By now, deidara was squirming and struggling against my grip. I couldn't afford to have him run away now so I pressed a pressure point at the back of his neck. The she-male immediately went limp. Whether or not I had accidentally killed him would be a decision that I couldn't afford to make on scene. The lady who'd been on my left grabbed my free arm in desperation.

"Please. Cough cough. Help my son! He's trapped in the rubble! Please..." her voice trailed off as a fit of coughing attacked her. At this rate, I would die in this hell hole without even being close to the flames. The smoke was beginning to fill my lungs. I hurriedly shook off her arm and glared at her before continuing on my way. She gasped and fell toward the floor. Oh well.

**No one**

Ironically, the chaos inside the mall had allowed the chaos outside calm down. Felix, even in her scared-out-of-her-pants mode was still capable of screaming each of the Akatsuki members' names, ushering them into the cars. Alex on the other hand, vented her fear on Hidan, screaming profanities at him. Bec arrived calm as ever before loading the limp Deidara onto Sasori's lap. They were going to have a hard time getting back.

**Alex**

My phone rang as Felix drove us toward home. I picked it up and nearly dropped it onto the seat. I put it on loud speaker in case I really dropped it while I was on the phone.

"Is everyone okay?" Alex spoke through the phone, business like as always.

I nearly nodded to the phone but Felix, shaken as she was muttered a soft but audible 'yes' to Alex. Alex clearly sighed in relief.

"What… What do we do now?" I mumbled, still trembling.

"We leave. Clear and simple. We have to get the hell out of here. Chris, the guy I asked to fix the gaping hole in our roof is coming over to fix it tonight and I believe he'll finish very quickly. After that, we sell that house and we leave."

"But… But… The house was… It was a gift from my parents." Felix stuttered.

"No choice. We're fugitives now. If we don't leave. And in the off chance that everyone saw me and deidara, we are screwed. If we leave now we can get somewhere further where people won't know who we are. That is our best bet as it goes. We'll talk more when we're back." Alex hanged up and left us in silence. With all the Akatsuki members staring at my weird rock looking thing.

**No one**

Minutes later, everyone pulled into the garage of the house, soon to be ex-home. Alex collapsed onto the front yard and started to tear up.

"I am not fucking cry…crying all right?" Alex batted away Hidan's hand and wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

Felix opened the door, the bell keychain hanging from her keys shaking violently. As Felix entered the house fresh tears began to leak out of her eyes. Itachi stepped forward and placed a hand onto her shoulder. But Deidara's 'art' had reminded her of what Deidara was. What they all were. The betrayed and just plain sad look on her face made him pull his hand away from her and glance toward the ground.

Bec ushered the boys into the house and dragged all the bags of clothes into the house without a word.

**Felix**

I wiped away my tear and picked up the bag of clothes for Kisame. I walked past Pain and knocked on Kisame's door.

"Yeah?" Kisame shouted from inside his room.

"I have your… your clothes." I muttered, tears still overflowing. Kisame opened the door, grinning. But his smile slipped off his face when he saw my tears. He, in his birthday suit plus towel, bent down and wiped my eye with his shirt. His eyes softened and he muttered to me in a brotherly sort of manner.

"You know, you can just let it all go. You don't have to act tough in front of me." Kisame smiled a smile that truly seemed genuine. Even while I knew who he was, I accepted his offer and began to really cry my eyes out.

"Wahhhhh…"

**Bec**

Staring at Alex and Felix crying, I realized that there was going to be a lot of trouble we were going to have to get through.

**Hehe… Bec's personality is kinda like a curveball right? And looks like Itachi has some **_**competition~**_** And from his best bud no less!**

**Stay tuned and keep those reviews coming in! They make me want to write more! **


	5. Everyone (Except Bec) I crying!

**Helloooo myyy frriiieennddsss… It is 11pm and I cannot take it anymore… All I can say is 'FUUUCKKK TTHHIIISS SSHHIITTT!"**

**I had to do 32 pages of piano work, Grade 5 for anyone who understands what the fuck I'm saying. And I have two Chinese books to read. Yes I'm Asian. As you can tell, not every Asian is perfect like an Asian usually is… And the worst part of this deal is that due to over excitement or something, my brain has been unable to calm down and I've been sleeping at around 2 am and waking at 9.30am. That's a fucking short time to sleep. Seriously!**

**In any case, Enjoy!**

**Alex**

"I AM NOT _FUCKING_ CRYING OKAY? LEAVE… Leave me alone…" I hate how my voice wavered at the end of my sentence. I couldn't help it. No matter how strong and fearless I was like on the outside, I was still human. There were chunks of people flying around, for god's sake! And the worst thing is _fucking_ Hidan couldn't leave me alone. To a certain extent, I had expected him to be the first to snap and kill someone. In fact, who was to say that they would all go crazy and kill the three of us?

My tears were just overflowing without seeming to stop. Stupid crying. Stupid tears. Stupid Deidara. _Stupid everything._

"Come on. It can't be that fucking bad? It's just blood and guts. Let's go in already, bitch."

The bloody idiotic old man kicked me. He actually had the nerve to kick me.

"Can't be that bad? _Can't be that bad?_ I'M A NORMAL HUMAN YOU FUCKING IDIOT! I'M NOT YOU! I DON'T KILL PEOPLE! THOSE PEOPLE WERE INNOCENT! WHY? Why… why?" By now, my eyes were feeling sore and I just couldn't get the mental picture out of my mind. This was beyond the worst day of my life. I never expected that just a little wish; a little want could impact our lives so much.

Without a word, he lifted me over his shoulder with a sigh and headed into the house. I couldn't even muster the strength to fight against his grip. I limply hung over his shoulder, crying into his grey 'Three Days Grace' shirt.

**Felix**

I smiled at Kisame through my tears and muttered my thanks to Kisame. He gazed at me gently and patted my head and whispered, "I know our heritage scares you. But we are who we are." I nodded. As my head cleared, I understood what he meant. They were born in a world in which they couldn't afford being weak. I thanked him again before going into my room, which was currently being used by Zetsu, Tobi, Hidan and Kakuzu. I rubbed my red eyes and placed the clothes neatly in the cupboard. I didn't use to have many things so it was easy to empty my things.

Kakuzu and Zetsu were both in the room quietly doing their own things. Kakuzu seemed to be reading some kind of 'how to' book about money. On the other hand, Zetsu was studying the tree that was growing right outside the window. He was studying it really, really hard.

"Zetsu-san, Kakuzu-san, your clothes are all here. Is that ok?" I tilted my head at them. Kakuzu looked up briefly from his book and nodded, before returning to his quest to learn how money works here. Zetsu's answer was a little more… Scary

"Thank you. **Now get out before I eat you**"

I never really thought very hard about it but I wasn't quite expecting for him to really have two separate voices. Curiously his entire mouth moved when he spoke regardless of which voice he was utilising.

**Alex**

I was lying on my bed where Hidan had quietly put me down. He sat at my desk. Curiously, he seemed to be absorbed in a book of some sorts. Hidan? Book? Doesn't quite seem to go together right? Right. Then I looked closer.

"Fuck!" I rushed toward him and closed the book shoving it into my drawer and then pushing Hidan out of the room. In his surprise, he didn't even reply verbally.

"What… What the fuck did I just read? We… Aren't real? We're fictional? What the bloody fuck?" He scratched his head. "You knew didn't you? You knew we weren't real… Why didn't you say anything? Bitch?" his eyes carried a hint of betrayal as though he felt that his not being real was my fault. The thing is, that question fucking stumped me. I didn't know either. Bec asked me to shut the fuck up about it, so I did. When Bec asks you to do something, it's best to just do it and not ask. If she feels obliged to explain. You'll drown in freaking words.

I shrugged cautiously at him. Hidan turned his back on me and paced along the hall. He paused every few seconds to stare into my eyes, like trying to find the truth behind my viewing holes. He muttered to himself before going down the steps to the kitchen to get some food or something. I don't know.

What the hell kind of reaction was that? He didn't seem angry, he didn't seem sad, he just looked confused. I thought he'd snap at me and beat me or something. I guess I thought wrong. I dried my tears on my blue cookie monster shirt before beginning my search for Bec. I am so screwed.

**Bec**

"Pain. I expect you to keep your boys in check. Any more of this business and I'm afraid you guys won't be staying here very much longer. Understood?"

The orange head leader stared into my eyes, a dash of anger in his multi ringed eyes. He nodded, knowing that in this foreign place, their best bets were going to be us. The people who know who and what they are and will take care of them. I didn't even know what drove the three of us to care for the ten of them. I cracked my neck before going out to the miniscule backyard. I touched the black bangle on my wrist.

**Itachi**

That look on her face was etched into my mind. Why did she have that sort of face? Sasuke had that same exact face when I killed father and mother. She didn't accept my comfort and instead took comfort in Kisame. I know… That big brute wasn't as much of a big brute on the inside. That was why we understood and got along with each other better than any of the other pairs. We both did something unforgivable because it was what benefitted our villages the most.

My mind, even as I sat on the topmost branch of the tree growing over the fence, kept flashing between Felix's face and Sasuke's. Betrayal. The most dominant feature that graced both their faces. Why? Was I wrong? Does she really need my help?

**Deidara**

That was a hell of a lot of fun! That bomb was like my worries, un! Bang! Then their all gone, un! I relaxed on the fluffy chair. Just then Danna walked in.

"You really over did it this time, Gaki. Pain-sama's going to punish you."

"Huh? What do you mean,un?"

Danna sighed again and touched the back of his neck.

"He's angry. Your unwillingness to follow rules has caused him to lose respect with the Bec girl. He needs and wants to be at the top of the food chart, even in comparison with that girl. You better watch out."

"Yeah, yeah. But didn't you see my art? I told you! Art is a bang!"

Sasori Danna glared at me with hatred.

"You're wrong. Art is eternal."

"No, un. Art is a bang!"

"No. It is eternal."\

"A bang!"

"Eternal."

.

.

.

"Whatever. I don't want to fight with you anymore. Just keep that reminder in mind."

**Bec**

I plopped myself down on the garden chair after showering. I was thinking about something when a familiar and irritating voice played in my head.

"TOBI HAS FOUND YOU, BEC-CHAANNN!"

I sighed.

"Just talk to me normally will you?"

"Hm? But it's not fun like that, Bec-Chan!" traces of the man-boy's voice was laced with matureness.

"In any case, you're the only one that's aalllll allloonnnneee, Bec-Chan!" His normal voice was starting to leak away from his 'Tobi' voice. I glared at him harshly as he placed himself on the other chair. Right when I wanted to be alone, this psychotic nuthole decides to come along and spoil my mood further.

"And you're the most fun now, aren't you? Bec-Chan?" He wasn't even bothering to hide his childish voice any longer. I sighed heavily leaning back against the chair.

"What do you want?"

"I'm curious about what made you the way you are."

"Maybe because I was born that way?" He shook his head. Whether it was at my harsh tone or at my answer, I didn't know or cared. As far as I could tell, he was still playing his little mind games. Hard to imagine a sweet and young boy like Obito had the potential to become a psychotic nuthole. But then again, it was also hard to imagine how a sweet young girl like I used to be could change into an emotionless puppet. In some ways, I held admiration for him. Instead of shunning everyone and closing off his heart after a bout of anger, he treated his loved one's death as motivation to create himself a new world. That's right. I used to be a sweet little girl who didn't seem to think that anything was wrong with her life style and her family.

Back to real world.

"No. No. No. You still harbour emotion. You were definitely never born like that. I'd even say that no one is born like that. Something happened to you and I want to know. What made your heart freeze? What made you become so rational and overly mature?"

I glared at him even more, trying irrationally to kill him with my sharp-as-a-knife glare. But I didn't sense that I had a choice in this situation.

"Fine. I'll tell you." He immediately perked up like a little kind that was being told stories by the campfire. "A few years back, I met this wonderful guy while I was trying to get my dormitory life going. He was kind, handsome and he wasn't like everyone else in my life. He didn't try to shape me into something he wanted me to be. He accepted me for who I was. That was all I needed to be hooked. Sam was practically my life way back when. I guess our story is a little dramatic and all. But that's life." I stared up at the darkening sky. Night was starting to fall.

"In any case, he was all that mattered to me at the time. What with my life falling apart and my parents never quite existing. And then that wonderful dream shattered. Just like that." I clenched my fist in the air.

"His parents forced I=him into the army so they wouldn't have to deal with his coming adulthood. Neither of us was from the good side of the neighbourhood, if you catch my drift. He got shipped the Iraq, a modern warzone. He just never came back." I stared into the one visible eye in Obito's orange lollipop mask. His hand, too, clenched into a fist at his sides.

I understood why. From what I had read in Naruto. His story was the same. Except that Iraq was Kakashi. At this very moment. I felt a sense of camaraderie from this extremely annoying pest. We both had stories of our own.

"I see." Obito said, almost inaudibly. He was quite, for once.

**Ok… So this chapter is a lot more serious than I wanted it to be. But if they didn't react strongly, I don't think they would be called humans. Except for Bec of course. She's the exception that proves the rule… I hope the plotline doesn't have too many plot holes though…**

**And actually to be honest, I used to think that the taming of Tobi wasn't possible… But after the 'proof that Tobi is Obito' thing, I decide that Obito can actually have a heart because he used to have one…**

**Well then, good night to you! Please review and gimme suggestions cause I feed on those. And if you do do (hehe, friends reference) that, Itachi will smother you with adorableness. **


	6. Chapter 6

UPDATEEEEEEEE::::

Gomen… But this isn't a proper story… Its an update… Cuz I decided you guys deserve it sooooo… Lets get right to it?

First thing is …. IMMMMM SOOOO SOOORRRYYYY FOORRRR THHHEE HIATTTTUUUSSSS…

Last year, I kinda sorta did shit for my exams… So yeah… Case closed… ORZ

About my stories… Well.. I'm gonna try to rewrite everything? After about a month, I will be trying to get a chapter of both my stories once every month? So like one chapter of Halfdemon and Life Sucks every month?

So Halfdemon, I will rewrite? Because my storyline kinda doesn't make sense? Or rather I have a lot of plot holes…

Same for Life Sucks? I guess…

Btw, I think I'll keep the original stories on in case uou guys prefer the original?

In OTHER WORDS, I need suggestions plllleeeeaassee?

Soooooo…. Last but not least would I've been thinking of getting a new Pen name? If you guys have ideas?

Sooooo Yeahhhh… Wait for me my friends!

Oh right… Check out my youtube channel, KuraiNoAnimeOtaku, and my instagram kai_kun_524.


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